This fall on ABC get ready to laugh at our new sitcom "Women Are Horrible and Disgusting and Terrifying"
— Alex Pareene (@pareene) April 3, 2012
The handyman in my apt building flirted with my cleaning lady this morning. I feel like Lord Grantham. Weeeeee! Let's go hunting!
— Adam Countee (@adamcountee) April 3, 2012
Al Qaeda just claimed responsibility for The Fray's performance of The National Anthem last night.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 3, 2012