Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Good TVeets

Major formatting problems with Good TVeets today (I blame Twitter's Oscar overload). So sorry if this is tough to read, but it's the best I've got. Go from the bottom up after the jump.

inessentials inessentials 
The Oscars make people do funny things. Like find E! on their cable line-up.

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
I have never watched E! news coverage before. It is pretty tE!rriblE!

DavidPoland David Poland 
Can E! lower the bar on intelligent coverage of the industry any more? They're making a really solid effort!





midwestspitfire Libby Hill 
Wait, Monique shaved her legs for this?

sepinwall Alan Sepinwall 
"Academy Award-winner Mo'Nique" is still an odd phrase after all my years covering UPN.

midwestspitfire Libby Hill 
E! makes me want to blow my fucking brains out.

inessentials inessentials 
Now perky E! reporter explained that "bambino" means baby. That says all you need to know about E!'s expectations for its audience.

42inchtv Christopher Rosen 
When I want my Oscar news, I go to Chris Connelly. #abc #oscars

midwestspitfire Libby Hill 
All of you shut up! I can't hear all of Ben Lyons' remarkable insights!

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
Ben Lyons just thanked his mom for getting him a scarf, then said a buncha bullshit about Black Swan.

inessentials inessentials 
Perky E! reporter just said "deets." THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING, E!. 

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
E!'s Catt Sadler sounds like she'd rather be in bed. She almost called Ben Lyons Ben Linus. #awesome #hornblare#timpani #E!

jasonmustian Jason Mustian 
Pessimist Oprah has a half-not sister.

stamos Annie Stamell 
Sometimes I have the overwhelming urge to hug my TV. (Also Chapter 7 of my autobiography 'Some of My Thoughts About Me')

MediaObsessed Blerg 
BEST. WEBSITE. EVER. : http://foodnetworkhumor.com/

MediaObsessed Blerg 
Imagine Oprah's producers faces when she told them about the sister? The must have kissed the floor and started writing their Emmy speech.

RowanKaiser Rowan Kaiser 
Will two beers be enough for The Cape?

stamos Annie Stamell 
I love that almost anytime I mention #NCIS, I immediately get an @ reply from a bot tweeting one of "Gibbs' Rules."

barbhaynes Barbara Haynes 
If you want to know how to look BORED OUT OF YOUR SKULL while romancing a woman, watch Brad. "I like you. No doubt about it." #bachelor

KayReindl Kay Reindl 
Being Human US, please take that sensitive, turgid E minor chord and shove it up your ghost ass. Vampire Diaries is less fey.

corybarker Cory Barker 
Of course I would skip tonight's Cape, since it's apparently kind of good? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

noelrk Noel Kirkpatrick 
So...I kind of like that episode of #TheCape...Perhaps I'm becoming used to its muddled mediocrity?

TVDoneWright TVDoneWright (Adam) 
Difference between Shonda Rhimes and David E. Kelley. Shonda can write heart-felt stories without making us choke on cheese. David can't

zhandlen Zack Handlen 
I'd like to officially apologize for the dearth of Abba-related Chess jokes tonight. Again, I have failed you. And... THE CAPE.

zhandlen Zack Handlen 
So, here's the thing--chess is only threatening when you're being beaten up for playing it. It's not a scary super-villain name. THE CAPE

NateCosBOOM Nate Cosby 
If Wild Wild West, Unstoppable & Batman Forever had a meth-induced three-way, their kid would be this episode of #TheCape.

zhandlen Zack Handlen 
Dear NBC: I'm not watching HARRY'S LAW, no matter how many times Kathy Bates waves that gun at me.

jasonmustian Jason Mustian 
And then Oprah said "Everybody look under your chairs!" And the audience did, and found that each of them had been given a sibling!

TVandDinners Carrie Raisler 
Remember when Elena was a cheerleader and Stefan played football? ...Yeah, that was terrible. #TheVampireDiaries

noelrk Noel Kirkpatrick 
YAY! MORE RICHARD SCHIFF! #TheCape

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
I've decided to believe that Chuck is actually two completely separate half-hour shows NBC edited together for no reason.

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
Somewhere, beneath the Earth, Katims seethes.

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
Chuck may be using The National, but at least they have the decency to use a National song Katims hasn't gotten to first.

JustinFowler Justin Fowler 
The Cape is mixing metaphors with gleeful abandon right now. Lasagna, chess, diabetes, finance, public schooling, John Wilkes Booth...

jmonjo Jeremy Mongeau 
This is an epiphany most shows have around, say, their second episode.

jmonjo Jeremy Mongeau 
#Chuck's core problem, in a nutshell: It took them four seasons to realize they might want to write a Big Bad with personality.

tvoti Todd VanDerWerff 
I also wish in one episode, Chuck would flash on gift wrapping and/or vegetable preparation.

TVMcGee Ryan McGee 
"From American Beauty to The Cape: The Mena Suvari Story."#worstsellerslist

jimmykimmel Jimmy Kimmel 
First, Oprah goes to Australia. Now she’s got a half sister. This is all morphing into an episode of LOST.

KayReindl Kay Reindl 
CBS picks up a pilot called The Doctor. People, YOU ARE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE.

ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner 
The Situation is selling his own line of dry-cleaning bags. Meanwhile, Snooki is selling her own line of stains.

BastardMachine Tim Goodman 
Imagine a miniseries in the U.S. where after nearly 7 hours, no character or story is resolved? Then again, there's 6 seasons of Lost.

BastardMachine Tim Goodman 
Downton Abbey was by far one of the best series I've watched in years, but the ending was disappointing. Luckily, they are making 2nd season

danharmon Dan Harmon 

Jesus_M_Christ Jesus Christ 
Enough of this Grilled Cheesus nonsense. When you see my face on a sandwich that means it’s my lunch, leave it alone

meek_the_geek Kristina Meek 
The real Oprah retired to Barbados in 1992. She's like the Dread Pirate Roberts. #otherOprahsecrets

EnergyTanks Cameron White 
In my youth, Californication was a damn good Chili Peppers song, not a TV show. #crankycollegestudent

meek_the_geek Kristina Meek 
Oprah is a Cylon. #otherOprahsecrets

TVKel Kel Kendrick 
Oprah owns the lost continent of Atlantis #otherOprahsecrets

EnergyTanks Cameron White 
For about two seconds, the wiki page for "kettle corn" said "It is a fun time snack." #Community #lolz

mikeylikestv Michael O'Connell 
Because the Internet wants this to be the most fruitless day ever, I just discovered "Confessions: Animal Hoarders."

elgray Ellen Gray 
Secrets Oprah's still holding back: Her evil twin with amnesia, repeated alien abductions, heartbreak of psoriasis.

BastardMachine Tim Goodman 
Jeff Zucker is talking about future plans. I'll bet "running another network into the ground" isn't on there.

MeredithBlake Meredith Blake 
Barely suppressing panic: Matthew Weiner says he hasn't starting writing season 5 of #MadMen yet. http://bit.ly/eJ7wfa

MJMcKean Michael McKean 
My sister is half-Oprah!

billkirkp Bill Kirkpatrick 
Reaction when one reads the FCC's byzantine conditions on NBC-Comcast: "Christ, how could they think this was better than just nixing it?"

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