JohnFugelsang John Fugelsang
Remember kids, every time you watch a Kardashian show a Bald Eagle hangs itself in shame.
JohnSolbergFX John Solberg
Watching Hawaii 5-0. Steve and Danno have just figured out there's no Tsunami. Hope they're wrong. They drown.#WouldBeGreatSeriesFinale
KateOH Kate O'Hare
Sorry, Chicago...no Olympics, no Super Bowl, but you still got #TheChicagoCode coming up! @ShawnRyanTV will make it all better.
joseph_eli joseph eli
She started this hash-tag to gauge how much we know. #OprahsSecret
JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
Hates black people. #oprahssecret
This whole thing was a ploy to see what people would tweet about her. Now she's going to track us down and kill us. #Oprahssecret
Wait a minute! This isn't one of those I'll tell you, but I'll have to kill you things, is it? #OprahsSecret
Proofread Sarah Palin's speech and said, "Oh, yeah, 'blood libel's' totally cool. Say that." #OprahsSecret
joshgal Josh Gal
She actually hates Tyler Perry movies as much as everyone else.#OprahsSecret
She put those muthafuckin' snakes on that muthafuckin' plane.#OprahsSecret
She's been dead the whole time. #OprahsSecret
billprady Bill Prady
The Jetta commercial with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor digitally dancing in the back seat makes me sad on a level I cannot truly express.
My name is Kathleen and I'm addicted to Intervention. #itstartedwhenshegotaDVR
Isn't it time for us to make Betty White do something funny again? Suggestion: parkour.
d_kompare Derek Kompare
In my ideal world, the Onion News Network would outdraw the combined ratings of the big 3 cable news nets by a wide margin. QED, suckas.
Nobody has ever said to me tersely, "Can I talk to you in the other room?" Maybe because I'm not a character in a TV show.
jmittell Jason Mittell
Doing season pass maintenance on my TiVo & sadly deleted Terriers from its ghostly presence on the list. What's the term for the DVR undead?
couple downstairs is having the kind of fight w/their in-laws that usually precedes a Law & Order episode. Or a Law & Order staff meeting
Holy shit. There's a Yogi Bear spambot.
johnsobey John Sobey
Chuck Norris can retweet his own tweet, then reply to it.
stephenfalk Stephen Falk
My new theory is that James Franco does not have a penis. You can't get that much stuff done while having a penis.
JohnFugelsang John Fugelsang
6pm - "Hitler's Family." 7pm - "Hitler High." 8-12mid - "Third Reich." Saturday Night, only on The Hitlery Channel.
I don't think this History Channel Hitler special is historically accurate; doubt he ever said, "Come at me, Bro!"
Hitler marathon going on right now on History Channel. Nice chance to brush up on Hitler-calling skills.
I actually really want to watch David E. Kelley's version of Wonder Woman. I hope it makes it to series. It could be the worst thing ever. Or it could be oddly good. But probably the worst thing ever.
EnergyTanks Cameron White
Twitter, stop it. First Olbermann, then Wonder Woman. Wait, don't tell me -- OUTSOURCED IS CANCELED?! #iwish #fantasies
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
I sure as hell hope Keith Olbermann isn't leaving "Countdown" to star in David Kelley's "Wonder Woman" project.
Or maybe Olbermann just wants to devote all his time to serving on the all-star celebrity panel of The Marriage Ref.
JBFlint Joe Flint
Olbermann to appear in a very special episode of MTV's "Skins."
Breaking: MSNBC is the Worst Person in the World.
Look: an attractive young girl on CBS. What are the odds she dies?
vaupel Kim Vaupel
Will we always wonder if Gracie Belle ever grew out of her awkward phase? #FNL
Just watching Perfect Couples now. I haven't seen a show with such an undertone of hate since Sarah Palin's Alaska.
greeney28 Karen Petruska
Okay, I did it. I watched #PerfectCouples. & it did make me hate. Deeply. I now hate marriage, privilege, and all white people. Thanks, NBC.