Monday, January 17, 2011

Golden TVeets

Read from the bottom up after the jump.

Follow @GoodTVeets



BastardMachine Tim Goodman
Right now a lot people are saying, "Oh, so THIS is NBC."
ditzkoff Dave Itzkoff
Steve Carell's fake fake laughter at Ricky Gervais is my authentic fake laughter at Ricky Gervais. #giveitarest
bbsting120 bbsting120
Wow, entire cast of FNL looks gorgeous as they are swarmed on carpet being asked about their amazing 8 nominations. #FakeGlobes
andrealeigh203 Andrea Reiher
And now Best TV Series Musical or Comedy presented by January Jones' breasts
timcarvell Tim Carvell
Truly, this was a wonderful night for anyone who's a fan of cutaway shots to a bewildered-looking Edie Falco.





apresledeluge colleen
Matt Bomer's consolation prize: http://bit.ly/er2l4E #goldenglobes
VDOOZER Bill Lawrence
I think I can almost honestly say that the Golden Globes are so fake that I wouldn't give a shit even if I won one. #liesitellmyself
AlecMapa Alec Mapa
G'nite. I'm pulling Sandra Bullock's bangs over my head and going to sleep.
theshoresofme Kate Tripoli
Since Gervais won't be back, can we get Tina Fey and Steve Carell to host the Globes next year? And also all other awards shows forever?
morgan_murphy Morgan Murphy
My favorite part of the Jets game was Natalie Portman's laugh.
BrianLynch Brian Lynch
Oh sure, Natalie Portman calls Mila Kunis in a crowded "Sweet Lips" and it's adorable. I do it and I'm the weirdo. #goldenglobes
scott_tobias Scott Tobias
Journos, when you sit down to pen your "Ricky Gervais was a disaster" story, recall you said that about Colbert. You will look stupid again.
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
On the West Coast, a Globes encore is starting. Ricky Gervais looks so young and unmurdered.
KelliZink Kelli Zink
Did Social Network win because everyone has a Facebook account but not everyone likes ballet? #GoldenGlobes
Deggans Eric Deggans
@BastardMachine Really thought Farmville had it in the bag.
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
And the Golden Globe goes to....Mafia Wars.
corybarker Cory Barker
You guys, this award is FOR ALL OF THE TOSTITOS. #KeepingItGoing
BrianLynch Brian Lynch
Colin has come such a long way since his syndicated chat show FIRTH THINGS FIRTH. Congrats, Colin! #goldenglobes
ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner
UPDATE: James Franco just cut off his arm to get out of this ceremony. #GoldenGlobes
mightytoycannon Ross McKeen
I hope Sandra Bullock hasn't committed to those bangs.#GoldenGlobes
vaupel Kim Vaupel
Is this what dating Ryan Reynolds does to a lady? #GoldenGlobes
calibadger cali badger
Someone's new lineup slogan sounds more like a denny's breakfast special.
ArrghPaine R. Paine
No Ricky Gervais isn't sweating, he's just been waterboarded...#goldenglobes
apresledeluge colleen
Basically this entire show has been one long "Oh. Well then." #goldenglobes
ditzkoff Dave Itzkoff
If you predicted Tom Hanks would inherit Jimmy Stewart's weird facial puffiness before his gravitas, take the rest of the week off.
nikikix Nikkii Cucco
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is trending. in my pants.
ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner
Julianne Moore lesbian movie wins - [INSERT RED CARPET JOKE HERE] #GoldenGlobes
BrentPiaskoski Brent Piaskoski
The Kids Are All Right, Jane Lynch and Jim Parsons. A big night for lesbians. #glush.
popscribblings Kirthana Ramisetti
Should The Kids Are Are Alright table (esp. Julianne Moore) be that surprised they won? Didn't they see who they were nominated against?
EricStangel Eric Stangel
By the way, interesting fact- "Hollywood Foreign Press" is just a fancy term for "Al-Qaeda"... #GoldenGlobes
barbhaynes Barbara Haynes
Ohhh, so Annette Bening was trying to look like her director. #glush#goldenglobes
johnmoe John Moe
I haven't seen this The Kids Are Alright movie. Does Bening play Daltrey? #GoldenGlobes
poniewozik James Poniewozik
Gervais lives! *Blink twice if they're threatening you, Ricky.*#RickyWatch2011
daniellestern Danielle Stern
Sorry Natalie, but this is a TERRIBLE speech, but thank you for the free birth control. #maybeitsthepregnancyhormones #goldenglobes
justincapps Justin Capps
Natalie Portman and I would never work. If I had to put up with that laugh, I'm pretty sure I'd trade her in for a Yalie. #GoldenGlobes
ditzkoff Dave Itzkoff
Thank you Hollywood for proving that a woman can make it, provided she changes her name from Hershlag. #nataliehershlag
wcdixon Will Dixon
I think Ricky Gervais is tied up backstage getting banged by a train of Scientologists. #glush
tvoti Todd VanDerWerff
Natalie Portman is totally making a moment her unborn child will say "Ew" to when she/he stumbles upon it years from now on YouTube.

KelliMarshall Kelli Marshall
Yeah, that's exactly what your parents want to hear. About your sex life. #natalieportman #GoldenGlobes
johnmoe John Moe
Oh no! Natalie impaled herself on a mirror shard AGAIN! Whoops, just the dress. #GoldenGlobes
pourmecoffee pourmecoffee
Worried Ricky Gervais will make horrifying return as Black Swan.#goldenglobes
ArrghPaine R. Paine
This is not the show Ricky Gervais was hosting *insert Jedi wave here* #goldenglobes
TVDoneWright TVDoneWright (Adam)
Ricky Gervais has been found naked in his hotel room passed out...next to Charlie Sheen - #GoldenGlobes LIVE-BLOGhttp://ow.ly/3EOrh
barbhaynes Barbara Haynes
Golden Globes guy has Ricky Gervais trapped in the basement drowning in a bucket of Polident. #glush
mightytoycannon Ross McKeen
Best explanation of the missing Gervais. RT @dceiver: He and Bucky Guntz went to a Ghostface show, maybe?
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
Your new 2nd Half Golden Globes host, Carson "You look fabulous and your album is awesome!" Daly.
BobbyRiversTV Bobby Rivers
Nancy Grace is now determined to find the whereabouts of #GoldenGlobes host Ricky Gervais.

NoelMu Noel Murray
It looked like Halle Berry gave Paul Giamatti a "just keep walking creep-o" shove off the stage.
ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner
Ricky Gervais has been ˝disappeared˝ for protesting the Salvadoran government. #GoldenGlobes
TVandDinners Carrie Raisler
Wait, did Giamatti just say Scott Speedman was in this movie? What movie is this? WHAT? I MUST KNOW!
seanoneal Sean O'Neal
Johnny Depp can't wait for the #goldenglobes to be over so he can go home and slip into a nice baggy wool hat.
Atrios Atrios
i'm hearing rainn wilson murdered gervais
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
They ran Halle Berry out there to cover up the fact they've chained Ricky Gervais to the back door.
ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner
Why do all the actors summarizing others' movies sound like theyr'e doing 3rd grade book reports? #GoldenGlobes

Memles Myles A. McNutt
I'd like to give a shoutout to Brad Falchuk, the one Glee writer not allowed to speak/not mentioned.
rcatlin Roger Catlin
"Glee" repeats as best comedy on Golden Globes. Maybe the Hollywood Foreign Press doesn't get cable.
jmonjo Jeremy Mongeau
The thing about Lea Michelle is, she's worse than Pol Pot.

poniewozik James Poniewozik
The extra who was shopping for pillowcases at Linens-N-Things in the "Loser" video? I think GLEE brought her on stage too.
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
Proof there are too many characters on "Glee": They just rented a second stage to accept this meaningless award.
mightytoycannon Ross McKeen
Hey, how come that wheelchair guy from Glee is walking? Miracle? #GoldenGlobes
KayReindl Kay Reindl
James Franco is writing a play as he watches this speech.

mishmz Melissa Zimdars
Random Franco sighting.
BrianLynch Brian Lynch
David Fincher wins for THE SOCIAL NETWORK! I have no idea what Lea Michelle thinks so I'm kinda lost. Could we have a close-up, please?
standupkid Mark Joyella
Ruh-roh. RT @buckyturco: At first I was kidding. Seriously, where is Ricky Gervais? #GoldenGlobes
wcdixon Will Dixon
Darren Aronofsky looks like he could be a porn director. A GREAT porn director. #glush #glush
barbhaynes Barbara Haynes
Darren Aronofsky thinks it's still Movember. #glush #goldenglobes#grossmustache
annehelen Anne Helen Petersen
I always feel like Darren Aronofsky is Christian Bale's moustachioed doppleganger.
tylercoates Tyler Coates
I hope The Tourist wins and whoever accepts the award goes, "Suck. My. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK."
tomandlorenzo Tom and Lorenzo
Crazy hair is back. #GoldenGlobes
SarahKSilverman Sarah Silverman
The way Christian Bale's arm is around his wife reads like she probably can't take a shit w/out his okay.
noelrk Noel Kirkpatrick
Oh, because Megan Fox is about as dull as Angelina Jolie, she introduces The Tourist? #GoldenGlobes
pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt
Is NO ONE going to thank The Funky Bunch? #myonlygoldenglobetweet
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
Per my Twitter feed, De Niro's speech was either the funniest thing ever, or proof he should be turned into glue.
poniewozik James Poniewozik
DeNiro closes w joke abt how you make movies to keep the kids in private school. Stars! They're just like us!
TVWithoutPity TVWithoutPity
It's always sad to see old people lose their minds. RT @hitfixdaniel: Why did De Niro's censored punchline make Hope Davis so sad?
»
jopinionated Jo Garfein
Who wrote this for DeNiro? It's like watching your grandfather trying to figure out Twitter. #GoldenGlobes

midwestspitfire Libby Hill
Did DeNiro get Bruce Villanch to ghostwrite this or what?
tvoti Todd VanDerWerff
Warren Beatty always appears to be staring at an object emanating a great light.
MattMitovich Matt Mitovich
Angelina: "Brad, explain that Fockers joke to me. Brad...?"
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
I hope we don't see Robert De Niro's nipple. #goldenglobes#janefonda
KelliMarshall Kelli Marshall
Did Christian Bale just "tongue" the camera?? #GoldenGlobes
BrianLynch Brian Lynch
Amy Adams just cold-cocked Melissa Leo! And then Bale fell from the roof into the orchestra. Mark Wahlberg said nothing.#goldenglobes
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
Dear Lea Michele: Check out Kaley Cuoco's reaction to a fellow cast member winning an award. That's how it's done. #GoldenGlobes
dloehr David J. Loehr
So everyone has done a Sorkin-walk-&-talk acceptance speech joke & a Sofia Vergara globes joke (incl. Sofia). What next, twitterverse?
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
I'm not saying we just saw Jane Fonda's nipple, but somebody at the PTC is sure as heck making a screenshot.
heywriterboy Denis McGrath
RT @ditzkoff Pls, no more Laura-Linney-couldn't-make-it jokes. Her father, passed away on Sat. // -- there it is--M.C.Hall tuque moment!
ShawnRyanTV Shawn Ryan
The Big C sounds hysterical.
TVKel Kel Kendrick
Okay it is either Julianne Hough, Carson Daly or "some dude" as Ryan's date according to your replies. Got it.
Deggans Eric Deggans
Ain't that many black folks at Golden Globes -- why have Blair Underwood and Vanessa Williams present together? Spread 'em around...!
poniewozik James Poniewozik
So: movie actor/actress > Glee cast member > anyone else working in TV. #HFPAmath

TVMcGee Ryan McGee
Tomorrow's headline: "Lea Michelle proves Chris Colfer can't defy gravity in real life by pushing him off hotel roof" #GoldenGlobes
DamianLovesTV damianholbrook
this just in: an enraged Lea Michelle just skulled Chris Colfer with his own Globe

fymaxwell Max Dawson
Hollywood's best kept secret: Seacrest is a big supporter of foreign films. #GoldenGlobes
morgan_murphy Morgan Murphy
the cutaway to Ryan Seacrest during the acceptance speech for BEST FOREIGN FILM should be turned into a book. #goldenglobes
BrentPiaskoski Brent Piaskoski
If, at one point during the night, you say "I'd fuck her", your best bet not to piss your wife off is Helen Mirren.
brennawilliams Brenna Williams
I've stopped believin' in the sound guy's ability to choose a different song clip when Glee wins something. #goldenglobes
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
Jane Lynch wins the Golden Globe she deserved last year when Chloe Sevigny won for that show she hates.
tylercoates Tyler Coates
I like that Aaron Sorkin just told us how great smart girls are. It'd be nice if he'd put one in his next script.
johnmoe John Moe
Aaron Sorkin's speech seems like something I *should* like. But I... uh... oh look it's been canceled. #GoldenGlobes
aperren alisa perren
Wait - where's James Franco? If an event is televised and Franco isn't there, did it really happen? #goldenglobes
heathr heather gold
Zach Efron has made the mistake of thinking his career isn't connected to his hair.
bobharrisdotcom Bob Harris
Christian Bale deserved a 2nd Golden Globe for Weirdest Sudden Weight Changes. Dude must have an inflate/deflate nozzle.
corybarker Cory Barker
And hold up better on DVD. RT @TVMcGee: In honor of Katey Sagal's win the middle part of tonight's #GoldenGlobes will take place in Belfast.
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
In honor of Katey Sagal's win tonight, the middle part of tonight's#GoldenGlobes will take place in Belfast.
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
Claire Danes was doing great until she started taking roll.
blogetteistaken LaToya Ferguson
Is it just me, or has "Temple Grandin" been in contention for awards for the past 5 years? It definitely seems like it. #GoldenGlobes
midwestspitfire Libby Hill
I believe Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts are serving as the centerpiece of her table. Who will take them home?!
DannyZuker Danny Zuker
That's Al Pacino?! I just gave him a dollar outside.
poniewozik James Poniewozik
Congratulations, Al Pacino, for winning Best Movie Actor Who Agreed to Do Television!
corybarker Cory Barker
I see that Al Pacino has taken a real liking to this zombie trend. He's so method. ... I'm waiting for Andrew Lincoln to stand up and shoot Al Pacino in the face. #GoldenGlobes
fymaxwell Max Dawson
Pacino won the award, but Carlos killed many, many more than Kervorkian. #GoldenGlobes
ZeitchikLAT Steven Zeitchik
Didn't think it was possible for someone to have a stranger hair/head getup than Tilda Swinton, but Geoffrey Rush comes close.#goldenglobes

cameron_tiff Cameron Bailey
Geoffrey Rush & Tilda Swinton look like sinister angels from the future, or a Wim Wenders movie. #GoldenGlobes

CourtneyReimer Courtney Reimer  
Tilda has this weird disorder where if she utters the word "television" the world crumples in on itself.
garnisheater Mindy Monez
"televisual movie"? you cant even present an award no one cares about without making it weird, can you, tilda?
mattsinger Matt Singer
Me: "How would you describe Robert Downey Jr.'s little Best Actress introduction?" Wife: "Creepy drunk uncle at Christmas."
corybarker Cory Barker
Seriously, why is everyone looking at Annette Benning as if she has 2 weeks to live?

saraschaefer1 Sara Schaefer
Trent Reznor wants to network with you like an animal. #SomebodyGrewUp
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
Best Original Song, otherwise known as "What's in the fridge."
franklinavenue Michael Schneider
All together now: The Globes did it all for the Nucky (WHAT) the Nucky (WHAT) the Nucky (WHAT) so you can take that trophy and...#boardwalk
jasonmustian Jason Mustian
Steve Buscemi has had Leukemia for what, 19 years now? That's got to be some kind of record. Wait, he doesn't have Leukemia?#goldenglobes
KayReindl Kay Reindl
Boardwalk Empire. Really. I guess that bathtub gin really fucks with your logic center.
fymaxwell Max Dawson
Walking Dead nominated, Breaking Bad wasn't. Somebody please shoot me in the head. #goldenglobes
danieltwalters Daniel Walters
Steve Buscemi wins the "Actor Most Golden Globe voters have heard of" Award.
ApocalypseHow Rob Kutner
Kevin Bacon is six degrees away from a stylist. #GoldenGlobes
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
I wonder if "Sad Lea Michele" will go viral like "Sad Don Draper." THIS IS WHY TUMBLR WAS INVENTED! #GoldenGlobes
paulfeig Paul Feig
I want the guy who plays music to stop people from talking at the Globes to follow me and play music when I'm about to say something stupid.
fymaxwell Max Dawson
Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Made for TV Movie, Movie, Training Video, or Video Game Cut Scene.
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
Chris Colfer wins for best supporting actor in a category that was created while on crack.
BastardMachine Tim Goodman
"Please welcome Ashton Kutcher's dad." And then Bruce Willis botched the smack talk. He can't hang with Gervais.
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
OK, new rule: no more playing people off. Those that go long get Ricky Gervais to start mocking them 'til they leave. #GG
Wesley_Morris Wesley Morris
Julianne Moore's dress looks like her 30 Rock accent sounded.
Snoodit Lesley Goldberg
Tom Hanks doesn't look happy at all to have lost $250 million in making The Pacific to something most viewers are saying, "What?" to.
fymaxwell Max Dawson
And I was prepared to send a "I'ma Let you finish, but Carlos was one of the best made for TV movies of all time!" Tweet#goldenglobes
jopinionated Jo Garfein
I love me some Julianne Moore, but her waterbed called: it wants the top sheet back. #GoldenGlobes
fymaxwell Max Dawson
By the time the Oscars roll around, I want to see Christian Bale back in the 127-130 lb range. #goldenglobes
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
Wow. Katey Sagal got a quick musical hook. Kurt Sutter's gonna KILL somebody.
noelrk Noel Kirkpatrick
So glad that Katy Segal won for Futurama. ...Right? #GoldenGlobes
theTVdivision Arthur Robinson
Let me get this straight, you're cutting Bale? Haven't you seen his movies?
TVMcGee Ryan McGee
Christian Bale must have just given away the end of "Harry Potter" or something on live TV. #GoldenGlobes
TVWithoutPity TVWithoutPity
Haven't heard #ChristianBale ramble this much since someone tried to change the lights during Terminator: Salvation.
realchriswilson Chris Wilson
My interest in the Globes has dropped considerably since Gervais left the podium. Let him keep talking, run a scroll with the winners.
fymaxwell Max Dawson
If NBC had any executives left, they would be freaking out right about now. #goldenglobes
42inchtv Christopher Rosen
Looks like this is the last time Ricky Gervais will host the Golden Globes. Enjoy!
TVKel Kel Kendrick
How did Carson Daly become the least annoying red carpet host?
BrentPiaskoski Brent Piaskoski
Anne Hathaway is wearing the same thing I am. Except I have the nude part on the front. #glush
aperren alisa perren
If computers can now beat people at Jeopardy, then surely they can replace these numnuts as red carpet interviewers
MattMitovich Matt Mitovich
Did this British gal know she was going to be working NBC's Globes red carpet tonight? Was someone sick?
nprmonkeysee nprmonkeysee
Did Carson Daly just tell Angelina Jolie "Enjoy your meal"? Is he the host in a Denny's kind of way?
Lord_Voldemort7 Lord Voldemort
Yes, Helena Bonham Carter's wearing different colored shoes on the red carpet. You know why? Because evil does whatever the hell it wants.
iamwesley Wesley Ambrecht
Ryan Seacrest just asked Jake Gyllenhaal if he's ever used Viagra.#nopenotkidding
TheRealJethro Jethro Nededog
Oversized lashes are wearing Carrie Underwood. #goldenglobes
HitFixDaniel Daniel Fienberg
I believe we can all agree that the sexual tension between Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Seacrest is combustive.
BobbyRiversTV Bobby Rivers
Jake Gyllenhaal w/ facial hair! That's the hottest-looking beard since Katie Holmes. #GoldenGlobes
tomandlorenzo Tom and Lorenzo
Natalie Portman's gown is TACKY. Unless she's singing "The Rose" tonight, then it's genius. #goldenglobes


kellyoxford kelly oxford
Every time you see a Glee cast member at the Golden Globes, an orphan dies. #goldenglobes
Jayma Mays and Elizabeth Moss should make out right now. Jayma is wearing too much makeup and Elizabeth isn't wearing enough.#GoldenGlobes
answerbitch Answer B!tch
Elisabeth Moss may be under-mascara-ed. Which is fine, because Jayma Mays has an emergency supply right on her face.#goldenglobes
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DannyZuker Danny Zuker
Will b live tweeting from Fox party @ Golden Globes (Live Tweeting is code for getting drunk and hitting on Glee cast.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sitting at a booth in Panera, laughing out loud, completely embarrassing myself. Great list!

    ReplyDelete